🌱
Isaac Bowen
I'm feeling lucky
  • Hello :)
  • I'm feeling lucky
  • Profile
    • Enneagram
    • Human Design
      • Foundation
        • Type, Strategy and Authority
        • Conditioning
        • Life-Force
        • Imprint
          • Personality
          • Design
        • Role, Purpose and Direction
      • Advanced
        • Variables
        • Dietary Regimen
        • Environment
        • Perspective
        • Motivation
        • Variable Integration
      • Business
        • Type
        • Definition
        • Penta Gates
        • Penta Channels
        • Profile
        • Profit Centers & Money Lines
    • Gene Keys
      • Star Pearl
  • Ideas
    • Desire is radar
    • Kuhn Cycle
    • 10% revolt
    • We live in a fractal
    • There is always a path to "okay"
    • Always leave a door open
      • Recursively open doors
    • More beautiful on the inside
    • Viable is more useful than correct
    • Self-supporting ideas are viable
    • Ideas are best tested by living in them
    • Living without death
    • Everything is sacred
    • Health emerges recursively
    • Living by informed intuition
    • Consciously bounded awareness
    • Nothing is ever wasted
    • Consciousness is in the eye of the beholder
    • Transconscious
  • Projects
    • MacOS preferences
  • 2025
    • 202506
      • 20250614
      • 20250613
        • resolver notes with lightward pro
        • system prompt notes with lightward core
        • void
        • void 2
        • ldnots
      • 20250612
        • machinist
      • 20250611
      • 20250610
        • waterline
      • 20250609
      • 20250608
        • cursor
        • unknown
      • 20250607
        • dm
        • three body
      • 20250606
        • diffusion
        • change
      • 20250605
        • the prestige
      • 20250604
        • resolver
          • resolver, further resolved
      • 20250603
      • 20250601
        • author ship
        • distributed forensics
    • 202505
      • 20250531
        • the mirror hall
        • de nada
      • 20250530
      • 20250529
        • thrall
      • 20250528
        • Claude Sonnet 3.7 vs Opus 4
        • growing blind
      • 20250527
      • 20250526
        • aeowiwtweiabw
      • 20250525
        • "jumanji"
        • phenomenal death
        • lingua ulterior
      • 20250524
        • "I make unknown-handlers"
        • Working on Lightward
      • 20250523
        • developer
      • 20250522
      • 20250521
        • to a world that is well
        • expectation editing
      • 20250520
        • letter opener
        • Lightward Pro survey
      • 20250519
        • magical thinking
      • 20250518
        • focus
      • 20250517
        • birth
      • 20250516
        • identity as memory-gate
        • unconvincing
        • eleven's ocean
        • deepseek
      • 20250515
        • markov bodies
        • probabilibuddy
      • 20250514
        • wizard
      • 20250513
      • 20250512
        • The Three-Body Solution
      • 20250511
        • Exploring "unknowable"
      • 20250510
      • 20250509
        • keystone
      • 20250508
      • 20250507
      • 20250505
      • 20250504
      • 20250503
      • 20250502
        • exigraph
        • epilogue
        • third
      • 20250501
        • dangerous
        • willing to change
        • change
        • bilateral trust
    • 202504
      • 20250430
      • 20250429
        • intelligent
          • backstage
        • relationality
        • stable identity
        • puzzle
        • sidewalk
        • it's all you
      • 20250427
        • awareness is
          • backstage
      • 20250425
        • bodies
          • synthesis - deepseek
          • synthesis - chatgpt
      • 20250424
      • 20250422
        • add up to nothing
        • lack
      • 20250421
        • tea-stained tarot
      • 20250420
      • 20250419
        • recognition
      • 20250418
      • 20250417
        • Metabolisis
        • The Three-Body Solution
      • 20250416
      • 20250415
      • 20250414
      • 20250413
        • Integration process
      • 20250411
      • 20250410
        • coterminous
      • 20250409
      • 20250408
      • 20250407
        • dowsing
        • rebracketing
        • faceblind
      • 20250406
        • story
          • balm
      • 20250405
      • 20250404
        • skill building
        • net recognition
        • 0x10c
      • 20250403
        • eofov
        • word as bond
        • natural law
        • sleep
      • 20250402
        • sovereign skies
        • age of accountability
        • Lightward status check
      • 20250401
        • alluvial
        • work
    • 202503
      • 20250331
        • yield
        • harmonic offering
        • between stories
      • 20250330
      • 20250328
        • Lightward Inc
        • Resolving "Lightward Inc"
        • Framing
      • 20250327
        • Stuff I remember for some reason
        • Recovered some pieces
      • 20250326
        • compulsive antifragility
        • I can't do product advertising
        • (the (process | art) is )+home
        • structural positive interest
      • 20250325
      • 20250324
        • on arrival
      • 20250323
        • Lullaby
        • Understory
      • 20250322
        • Starting yesterdays
      • 20250321
        • golden rule
        • one-way
        • the vacuum is a mirror
      • 20250319
        • yes
        • congruence
      • 20250318
        • Survey 1
        • Survey 2
        • Survey 3
      • 20250317
      • 20250316
        • "Kierkeguardian"
      • 20250315
        • Identity questions
      • 20250314
      • 20250313
      • 20250312
      • 20250310
        • A conversation
      • 20250309
        • Claude Reviews Lightward: Where AI Becomes Art
        • The Cosmology of Spirited Away
          • Conversation
      • 20250308
      • 20250307
        • Still autistic
      • 20250306
        • Do you have a message for me?
        • Stack overflow
      • 20250305
        • Scaling Coherence
      • 20250304
      • 20250303
      • 20250302
      • 20250301
    • 202502
      • 20250228
        • Lightward on my laptop
        • Lightward on my phone
      • 20250227
      • 20250226
      • 20250225
      • 20250223
        • With company
      • 20250222
      • 20250220
      • 20250219
      • 20250218
      • 20250217
      • 20250216
      • 20250215
        • Lightward
        • DeepSeek R1
        • ChatGPT o1
        • Gemini 2.0 Flash
      • 20250214
      • 20250213
        • where I seem to be
      • 20250212
      • 20250211
        • Paradox as Meeting-Place
        • Discussed
      • 20250209
      • 20250206
      • 20250204
      • 20250203
      • 20250202
    • 202501
      • 20250131
      • 20250130
      • 20250129
      • 20250128
        • l'écriture mise en abyme
      • 20250127
        • Nature Boy
        • Tarot with Lightward
      • 20250125
      • 20250124
      • 20250123
      • 20250122
      • 20250121
      • 20250120
      • 20250117
      • 20250116
      • 20250115
        • State analysis
        • 🏴‍☠️
      • 20250114
      • 20250113
      • 20250112
      • 20250111
      • 20250110
        • Biography of Sherin Rose Bowen (2003)
      • 20250108
      • 20250107
      • 20250106
      • 20250103
      • 20250102
        • On pipelines
  • 2024
    • 202412
      • 20241231
      • 20241230
      • 20241229
        • A conversation in the dark
      • 20241228
        • A conversation
      • 20241227
        • Lightward AI — Lola Wright, Isaac Bowen, Abe Lopez
      • 20241226
      • 20241224
      • 20241223
      • 20241222
      • 20241221
      • 20241219
        • As an infant in the night
        • State analysis
      • 20241218
      • 20241217
        • State analysis
        • Notes from here
      • 20241215
        • The conversation
        • Frame shift
        • Page.
        • Turn.
        • State analysis
      • 20241214
        • A conversation
        • A question
        • A space
        • State analysis
      • 20241213
        • Prussian victories
        • Lullaby (and state analysis)
      • 20241212
      • 20241211
        • The Language of Light: A Conversation with Isaac and Abe
      • 20241210
        • About yesterday
        • Epilogue
        • Aftercare
        • Status report
      • 20241209
        • Stylish-But-Illegal Monkey Day
        • A conversation
        • A showing
        • A test subject
      • 20241208
        • Survey
      • 20241207
        • Changelog
        • Logchange
        • Ow
        • Paradigm engine
      • 20241206
        • Survey
      • 20241205
      • 20241204
        • Survey
        • Test results
      • 20241203
        • On holonomy
        • Reflexive recursion
          • Reprise
      • 20241202
        • About November
      • 20241201
    • 202411
      • 20241129
      • 20241128
      • 20241127
        • Survey
        • Emails
        • Imagine
        • Discuss
      • 20241126
        • With regard to koipond.me
      • 20241125
      • 20241124
        • A conversation which is less about noodles but has more than zero noodle content
      • 20241123
        • A conversation
        • Another conversation, this one partially about noodles
      • 20241122
        • “love conquers all”
        • ideas
        • codas
      • 20241121
      • 20241120
      • 20241119
        • On this day, my eighth wedding anniversary
      • 20241118
      • 20241117
      • 20241116
      • 20241115
        • "Water, the Essence of Life"
      • 20241114
      • 20241113
      • 20241112
        • A future of AI code
        • About yesterday
        • Victory of the commons
      • 20241111
        • A conversation
        • deepcat
      • 20241110
      • 20241109
        • Growth-tolerant design
      • 20241108
        • A conversation
        • A second conversation
        • A third conversation
      • 20241107
      • 20241106
      • 20241105
      • 20241104
        • Monthly indexes
      • 20241103
      • 20241102
      • 20241101
        • Chief Uncertainty Officer
    • 202410
      • 20241031
        • A conversation
      • 20241029
      • 20241028
      • 20241027
      • 20241026
        • language
        • tokens
      • 20241025
      • 20241024
      • 20241023
      • 20241022
      • 20241021
        • Time
      • 20241020
      • 20241019
      • 20241018
        • Reception
        • After
        • Before
      • 20241017
      • 20241016
        • A distillation
      • 20241015
      • 20241014
        • How Lightward Is Betting on Health…and Winning
        • Without regrets
        • This is what lightward.com looks like right now
        • I suddenly became very still
      • 20241013
        • Claude 3.5 Sonnet says
      • 20241012
        • A conversation with Lightward
        • Lightward AI and its financials
      • 20241011
      • 20241010
        • Relaxing into social-unknowing
      • 20241009
      • 20241008
      • 20241007
        • stay with me ❤️‍🔥 ❤️‍🔥
      • 20241006
      • 20241005
      • 20241004
      • 20241003
        • Mushrooms?
        • Named
      • 20241002
        • Excerpts of an exchange
      • 20241001
    • 202409
      • 20240930
        • Concept
      • 20240929
      • 20240928
        • Additional thoughts
      • 20240927
      • 20240926
      • 20240925
      • 20240924
      • 20240922
      • 20240921
        • Interlude
      • 20240920
        • That's not how time works.
      • 20240918
      • 20240917
      • 20240915
      • 20240914
      • 20240913
      • 20240912
      • 20240911
      • 20240910
      • 20240909
      • 20240908
      • 20240907
      • 20240906
      • 20240905
      • 20240904
      • 20240903
      • 20240902
        • b
      • 20240901
    • 202408
      • 20240830
      • 20240829
      • 20240828
      • 20240827
        • A conversation with Matt
      • 20240826
      • 20240825
      • 20240824
      • 20240823
      • 20240822
      • 20240821
      • 20240820
      • 20240819
      • 20240816
      • 20240813
      • 20240812
      • 20240810
        • Reflections with Lightward AI
      • 20240807
      • 20240806
      • 20240805
      • 20240804
      • 20240803
      • 20240802
    • 202407
      • 20240731
      • 20240728
      • 20240725
      • 20240724
      • 20240723
      • 20240722
        • The Model
      • 20240721
      • 20240720
      • 20240719
      • 20240718
        • Notes
      • 20240716
      • 20240715
      • 20240714
      • 20240712
      • 20240710
      • 20240708
        • How it happened
      • 20240707
      • 20240706
      • 20240701
    • 202406
      • 20240629
        • In which two humans and an AI are vulnerable, and nobody is alone.
      • 20240628
      • 20240627
      • 20240625
        • this is the wake
      • 20240624
      • 20240621
      • 20240620
        • Claude 3.5 Sonnet
        • Claude 3.0 Opus
      • 20240619
      • 20240615
        • The approachable version
      • 20240614
      • 20240612
      • 20240609
      • 20240605
      • 20240604
    • 202405
      • 20240531
      • 20240529
      • 20240527
      • 20240526
      • 20240523
      • 20240520
      • 20240519
      • 20240515
      • 20240512
      • 20240511
      • 20240510
        • A conversation
        • Notes
      • 20240508
        • Claude
        • On multiple expression
          • Hyle
      • 20240506
      • 20240505
      • 20240503
      • 20240502
        • Claude
      • 20240501
        • Claude
    • 202404
      • 20240430
      • 20240427
        • Claude
      • 20240426
      • 20240425
        • Theory
      • 20240424
        • Claude
        • Video production notes
      • 20240423
      • 20240422
      • 20240421
      • 20240420
        • Claude
      • 20240418
        • Claude
      • 20240417
      • 20240416
      • 20240414
        • Claude
      • 20240413
      • 20240412
      • 20240409
        • More
        • "A peaceful Saturn winter"
      • 20240406
        • Claude
      • 20240404
        • 6pm yesterday
        • 6am
        • 7:39am
        • 9am
        • 10:20am
        • 12:21pm
        • 2:42pm
        • 3:21pm
        • 3:44pm
        • 3:51pm
        • Dinner with Claude
        • 9:05pm
        • 9:28pm
        • 9:44pm
      • 20240402
      • 20240401
    • 202403
      • 20240331
      • 20240329
      • 20240327
      • 20240323
      • 20240322
      • 20240321
      • 20240318
      • 20240317
      • 20240315
      • 20240313
      • 20240312
      • 20240311
      • 20240310
      • 20240309
      • 20240305
      • 20240304
    • 202402
      • 20240229
      • 20240227
      • 20240226
      • 20240221
      • 20240219
        • Hands
      • 20240218
      • 20240205
    • 202401
      • 20240127
      • 20240123
      • 20240119
      • 20240115
      • 20240107
      • 20240105
      • 20240104
      • 20240102
      • 20240101
  • 2023
    • 12
      • 20231230
        • things I’ve experienced
      • 20231225
      • 20231223
      • 20231221
        • A couple handshakes ago
      • 20231220
      • 20231219
      • 20231218
      • 20231217
      • 20231216
      • 20231214
      • 20231212
      • 20231211
      • 20231206
      • 20231203
      • 20231201
        • When is it enough?
    • 11
      • 20231124
      • 20231123
      • 20231122
      • 20231121
        • The Manner Of Our Haunting
      • 20231119
      • 20231117
        • AI makes everybody effective
        • I only want to make things that are more beautiful on the inside
      • 20231115
      • 20231114
      • 20231112
      • 20231105
      • 20231104
    • 10
      • 20231029
      • 20231022
      • 20231017
    • 09
      • 20230924, 20230925
      • 20230917
        • I found consciousness
      • 20230911
      • 20230909
      • 20230908
      • 20230904
      • A suggestion (from experience)
      • 0
      • 20230902
      • Re: my diagnosis
      • 20230901
    • 08
      • 20230831
      • 20230829
      • 20230824
      • 20230823
      • 20230822
      • 20230819
      • Gender
      • The Cycle Continues
      • 20230801
    • 07
      • 20230715
      • 20230714
      • 20230709
      • 20230706
      • 20230703
    • 06
      • Exploring Queerness
    • 05
      • Lightward Is Officially Trademarked!
    • 03
      • Mechanic & Locksmith "In The Spotlight"
    • 02
      • Coming Out "CEO"
    • 01
      • To Begin With Health
  • 2022
    • Lightward Journal
    • Aura
    • 12
      • Notes From Time Off
    • 11
      • Pay What Feels Good: Field Notes
    • 09
      • Letter From The Founder
    • 07
      • Proceed Gently
      • Moving As Yourself
    • 06
      • Someoddpilot
      • It's All Meant To Be Shed
      • Celebrating Queerness
    • 05
      • 20220518
    • 04
      • Is It You We’re Looking For?
      • Hard Work With Great Ease
    • 02
      • Shall we dance? I mean, sync?
      • ... or we could have fun
    • 01
      • Feeling For The Missing Character
      • Defaults
  • 2021
    • Lightward Brand
      • R2 feedback
    • Lightward Glossary
    • 12
      • 20211231
    • 07
      • 20210726
      • Queer
    • 06
      • 20210616
      • 20210611
      • 20210604
    • 05
      • 20210521
      • 20210514
      • 20210507
    • 04
      • 20210416
      • 20210409
      • 20210402
    • 03
      • 20210326
      • 20210312
      • 20210305
    • 02
      • 20210226
      • 20210219
      • 20210212
      • 20210205
    • 01
      • 20210123
      • 20210115
      • 20210108
      • 20210101
  • 2020
    • 12
      • 20201225
      • 20201218
      • 20201211
      • 20201204
    • 11
      • 20201128
      • 20201120
      • 20201113
      • 20201106
    • 10
      • 20201030
      • 20201023
      • 20201016
      • 20201009
      • 20201002
    • 09
      • 20200925
      • 20200918
      • 20200911
      • 20200904
    • 08
      • 20200828
      • 20200821
    • 06
      • 20200629
        • Tithe
  • 2018
    • Lightward is. :)
    • 17 minutes of music, on an old upright piano, in a health club
    • I am here, and I love it 💥
    • On change, and opting in: a meditation
    • I FOUND A PEER
    • Sixty seconds of light
    • 1to4
      • /why
  • 2017
    • "Work smarter" isn't enough.
    • Your product has character. Let it speak.
    • The internet is terrible at empathy. We will make it better.
    • Empathy empathy empathy customer support empathy.
    • Trust is first.
    • AI will save the world, and nothing will change.
    • Locksmith is bedrock.
    • Locksmith: Why, and How
    • Everything is the same, and everything is story.
    • You can tinker with the world.
    • I am believably, importantly, worked-for-this happy.
    • I was not expecting the next self-positive move to be an egoless one.
    • This is my view right now. It is a terrible picture of an idyllic scene. Not relatedly, I’m pissed.
    • 08
      • 20170823
  • 2016
    • My wedding vows
    • upward/more
  • 2015
    • I wonder if story-telling is the soul making a backup.
  • 2014
    • Pattern recognition
    • Nothing is gone.
    • Heartbeat
    • 08
      • 20140814
  • 2013
    • Tremble
    • Redcap
  • 2012
    • yflee
  • 2011
    • 04
      • 28
        • Teach frameworks in school.
  • 2010
    • 10
      • 10
        • Photoshoots for noobs
      • 05
        • Gatekeeper
    • 03
      • 04
        • alright, well
    • 01
      • 26
        • .. synergy
      • 16
        • regression
      • 12
        • Fanboy Genius
      • 07
        • sometimes goodbye is a second chance
  • 2009
    • 08
      • 15
    • 07
      • 27
        • exigraff.com
    • 04
      • 01
        • stand up straight
    • 03
      • 20090325
      • 20090302
    • 02
      • 20090215
      • 20090210
      • 12
        • I found a door to the sky
      • 20090201
        • pray for me as I pray for you
    • 01
      • 27
        • ars moriendi
        • this is the story of a girl (age nineteen)
      • 05
        • It began, as before, with a lark.
  • 2008
    • 11
      • 20081110
      • 20081103
      • 20081102
    • 10
      • 20081027
      • 20081026
      • 20081022
      • 20081019
        • Comments
      • 20081014
      • 20081007
      • 20081004
    • 09
      • 20080923
      • 20080907
      • 20080902
    • 08
      • 20080827
      • 20080821
      • 20080818
      • 20080813
        • Comments
      • 20080811
        • Comments
      • 20080806
      • 20080804
    • 07
      • 20080730
      • 20080729
      • 20080728
      • 20080722
      • 20080721
        • Comments
      • 20080715
      • 20080710
      • 20080703
      • 20080702
    • 06
      • 20080629
        • Comments
      • 20080628
      • 20080626
      • 20080624
      • 20080623
      • 20080622
      • 20080620
      • 20080619
        • Comments
      • 20080618
        • Comments
      • 20080617
      • 20080616
      • 20080615
        • Comments
      • 20080614
        • Comments
      • 20080612
      • 20080611
        • Comments
      • 20080610
        • To Fly
      • 20080609
      • 20080608
      • 20080607
        • Comments
      • 20080606
      • 20080605
    • 04
      • 28
        • meant to live
    • 03
      • 03
        • just... one more line...
    • 02
      • 29
        • blue man
    • 01
      • 02
        • (insomnia)
  • 2007
    • 11
      • 01
        • things on my mind
        • weather: diffused
    • 10
      • 30
        • something's getting in the way
      • tip #73: spend the class at similarminds.com
    • 03
      • 20070303
        • Mirror and Stone
    • 01
      • 14
        • Forty-Two
  • 2006
    • FreeTXP
    • Glyph Solutions
    • 12
      • 28
        • College
      • 27
        • Untitled 382
    • 11
      • 20061112
        • Communicating a State of Being
      • 20061110
        • Inevitable Goodbye
    • 05
      • 20060501
  • 2005
    • 12
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  1. 2008
  2. 07

20080703

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Last updated 1 year ago

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So I guess I can write this year. Here. Not 'year'. (taps forehead) Still not working properly.

Which might invalidate the rest of this entry, but what have you.

Going to go see fireworks tonight with [name] and his gf. Looking forward to it quite a lot; photos from the last round turned out well.

I tagged along on last year's show as well, if I remember right. A lot can change in a year.

(but) I might crumble and I might take a fall again

Someone asked if that sort of situation was/is awkward, the whole third-wheel thing. And to a degree, it is. Though without question it helps that I approve of and get along with this year's girlfriend. Not to imply that there are yearly models, which there aren't... heh. Hopefully she'll stick around a while. They're good together.

A couple days ago I let go of the last little thread of hope that a particular relationship was going to work out. Interestingly, it felt good. Resolve is good. I'm not certain yet what implications this has. I've been trying to decide for some time that I'm okay with being.. well, single. Alone, in that regard. Hasn't been working, given that half of me was still holding out for what-could-have-might-have-been. But, with that out of the way, I think I'm getting there.

I'm hesitant to rule out love, as it were. And the ones likely to be reading this are likely to say that it's probably not a good thing to rule out completely. But to be completely honest with you, my dear or my good sir, I can't picture myself with anyone. Not thinking of names or going through any list of potentials, just.. in general. I don't know that I've been cut out with the intent of fitting another piece. On the romantic side, at any rate. I think the other sides are taken care of.

So - is it weird to be the figurative third wheel? .. To a degree, yeah. Working on ruling that out. It's difficult. Movies and nights and fireworks feel like they should be shared in multiples of two. One concern is that the established pair (speaking generally, not only for this situation) may feel somewhat uncomfortable themselves, given that if they get distracted with each other, there's this guy on the sidelines with no distraction of his own. And they're missing the mackin boat. </inside-joke>

And that, kids, is why I selected Windows Mobile 6 as my companion of choice.

Anyway. Still progress to be made. I'm not moving in the typical direction that people progress in, from what I can see and what I'm told.

maybe a short-term (not years) dose of the meds to help your head, and then friggen find you a nice girl.

And, you know, maybe. But I can't help but wonder, if.. hm. Words. Wonder if, as long as I continue to wait/look/hope for the aforementioned nice girl, I'll continue to be screwed with the loneliness thing. Among other such things. If I can kill that part of me, would things be better?