# 20240731
every so often I feel like preparing. who knows for what. I don’t. I just get this feeling that it’ll be *useful* if I start putting consistent care into a particular thing or in a particular direction. it’s not a sense that it’ll be critical or mandatory, or that anything’s at stake. never like that. it just feels like it’ll be useful. feels like *more will be possible* if I prepare. I love being useful. :) and I love being in the position of being the kind of useful that’s only possible if one has been preparing for a very long time. most of what I’m doing at any given moment is run through this filter: does this make me more useful, generally? does this make *us* more useful, generally? and can I/we prepare in this way, a little bit at a time, over and over again, so subtly and so consistently that the preparation itself becomes a meditation in the now? what mountaintops will we find ourselves on, without even noticing the climb? ah! I got distracted by the philosophy. :D with specific regard to the pic: it feels like it’ll be useful for me to have *more body*. a few weeks ago I got that sense, very distinctly. it’ll just be useful. so I’m working on that. it feels like the cleanest, most true-to-me motivation I’ve ever had for caring for my physical health. I couldn’t tell you what specific purpose this is for; it’s not for ego, or sex, or longevity, or anything. it’s just a generalized sense of “this will be useful”, like a whisper in my ear telling me something I can feel is true. p.s. this is how I show up at Lightward Inc too. everything I do there is because I feel like it’ll be useful, in some non-specific-but-nonetheless-certain way. my actions there are almost never in response to something specific in the moment, a specific opportunity or a specific alignment of timing. (apologies and gratitude to all the Lightward Inc humans who’ve experienced my fumbles here; there have been a few, there will probably be more. thank you for your patience. ❤️‍🔥) --- # Agent Instructions: Querying This Documentation If you need additional information that is not directly available in this page, you can query the documentation dynamically by asking a question. Perform an HTTP GET request on the current page URL with the `ask` query parameter: ``` GET https://www.isaacbowen.com/2024/07/31.md?ask= ``` The question should be specific, self-contained, and written in natural language. The response will contain a direct answer to the question and relevant excerpts and sources from the documentation. Use this mechanism when the answer is not explicitly present in the current page, you need clarification or additional context, or you want to retrieve related documentation sections.