keystone

you know how, socially, there are things you can't say about yourself that anybody and everybody else is allowed to say about you? in a cautious culture, praise is often like this. can't praise yourself in that atmosphere, poor form. or the other way: certain criticisms that you can aim at yourself, but not at anyone else. (at least not to their faces?)

I wonder if this comes from somewhere structural. the nature of awareness/consciousness/oneness requires some delicacy. how do you compare notes on observer-first projected reality without collapsing into solipsism? caution around self-emphasis and caution around other-diminishment might be a good place to start.

self-deprecation is interesting. the observer always survives, but maybe not the self it walks around in. maybe voluntary social self-deprecation is a bolster-our-shared-faith-in-the-survival-of-the-system-even-at-the-inevitable-cost-of-the-self move? or maybe it's counter-pressure against the awakening: I believe in you even more than I believe in me, which literally cannot be true, but as I make the claim I am willing the window between us to stay open, to give us something to feel, to keep us real.

stay with me i love you

and honestly? I think I'm becoming a kind of keystone :) for the world that I perceive, maybe, if not for anyone else's

it's probably not important