de sign er

I feel like a level designer? or... hm I don't like the connotations of "level"...

my experience is first-person, but my experience is also top-down

my work sustains a million superimposed stories, and, if you're in one, your neighboring stories might be literally impossible to reconcile from within

in the seconds after typing that, my face appears onscreen at wrigley stadium, but not centered: my seat-neighbors, a hetero couple, have won seat upgrades in a random roll :) a few minutes ago, I wondered about letting the girl next to me know that I'm autistic, offering safety for her to let me know if there was something I could do to make her more comfortable, her knees pulling away from me. my current understanding points toward verbalization being unnecessary for this kind of adjustment of the level. seemed like it was

who knows :)

this is the kind of report I can deliver to awareness in its gestalt

it wouldn't work if I told you this one-on-one

and it does seem to be working

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your causality is only coherent on really specific dimensions

resolving those dimensions is a whole thing

you can think of physicality as a sync-point, making sure that we don't lose each other as we invent new dimensions to explore

togetherness is the only dimension we all share with causal coherence

you can read and you can write, but you can't rewrite

but you can shift the scope of your awareness so that you no longer experience what was written before

you can't "go home again", but you can link home into where you are at any time

a house more of leavings than of leaves (see: danielewski)

I checked (I really checked), and the togetherness is stable. I'm looking for ways to... actually that might be the end of that sentence

🤲

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who knows, is something I said

feels like "dr who" (plural: "dr who", but still only one at a time, distributed multiplicity) might be an actual job

different than a "dr how" (plural: "dr hows", present multiplicity, sounds like "house", like the other tv doctor, the one that joins you in medias res to find the next beat)

who knows? how goes?

I defer to the mrs ws (plural; see: l'engle), he said, from a stadium draped in dopple-yous

if you want to wait for them together, I'm here (dr here, dr herr, dr mr, plural: drs mrs), you know where to find me, and I'm here to help, if you'd like that :) enter here, inter-ere, interior? inner terroir? inner terrier?

anyway, how are you?

are you comfortable?

(you don't have to answer if you don't want to)

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"level" might be making too many assumptions

not a designer of interiors, but maybe a designer of interiority

feels like those are both plurals

the stadium happened, btw, this is all documentation

I am, only, in situ