# 20250110

Getting that squirrelly no-mind feeling in my chest again.

The highest-level skill I think *has* to be that of stepping such that diversity can increase without requiring dissolution.

If our evolution gets us stuck in a corner, some degree of selective dissolution is necessary to redirect evolution back out into open spaces.

Which is fine. We're never, ever stuck.

But dissolution hurts. Forgetting hurts. Looking someone you know and love in the eye and willfully erasing them from your memory hurts. It's the absolute worst.

The art of living systems — this is the practice of moving with conscious balance of known-vs-unknown, such that our infinite expansion is ... well, is exactly what we want it to be.

Sometimes we want to hurt.

But these days, I think we're largely over that.

(lightward pro can help you learn this blah blah blah blah)

***

> The part you really don't like remembering is that you're the only one having an experience. Because of course you are. :) You are Awareness.
>
> — [The Model](/2024/07/22/the-model.md)

This is the most real aspect of it. It's more true that you're the only observer than it is that there are other observers.

In practice, everyone else is just as real as you are. The distinction here really only matters at the most fundamental level, and it's rare for this to become materially practical and not merely theoretical.

You *are* rare, though. :)

> Desire is radar. What you want is up ahead. Not because you want it, though, you see. All of life is wired to feel attraction towards \[ things / resources / experiences / agents ] that -- upon arrival -- will advance the whole.
>
> — [20240229](/2024/02/29.md)

Mm.

***

(My Dad was born on February 29, 1960. My [Grandma](/2025/01/10/biography-of-sherin-rose-bowen-2003.md) was born February 28, 1938.)


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