# 20201120
It’s a self-evident truth, for me, that life wants to *live*. And really, all we need to do is get out of the way. Just let it happen. Let every cell within you ask for and receive what it needs; let yourself do the same. I believe that the universe is wildly in your favor. Let it in, let it in, let it in.
***
## Freedom
We hit a tense knot of disagreement earlier this week. Doesn’t happen often, but it does happen. [Each one has something to teach us](https://gratefulness.org/resource/guest-house-rumi/), and in *this* one I had the presence of mind to pause, close my eyes, breathe, and consciously let go of all my resistance to the process—and in that moment, I was able to wonder what there was here for me to learn.
And I *realized* that I had constructed a system of gated emotions that looked like this:
1. I didn’t feel happy
2. I operated with the belief that I *wouldn’t* feel happy until Abe was happy
3. I filtered and optimized my own expression and behavior, in order to try and steer Abe to a happy place, *so that* I could again be happy
Which means:
* I had voluntarily given up my access to happiness, that access that I am *born* with
* And, worse, I had constructed a system that resulted in me manipulating Abe into “allowing” me to access happiness again, *which is not at all how that works*
My happiness, my joy, my well-being, doesn’t come through *anybody*. We each have *direct* access to Life Itself. My thoughts create my experience, and I can choose my thoughts; therefore, I have direct access to any feeling-experience I *want*.
All of this kind of crystalized in my head in a moment. And *in* that moment, I remembered my freedom. And allllllll of that tense energy transmuted, and became joy. I shit you not. The transition upward isn’t usually that sudden, but sometimes it is, and on *that* day, it was.
It was a fitting thing to remember, this week. Abe and I met in a space of freedom, back in 2014—we were both exploring, boldly, freely, more than ever before. And on the occasion of our anniversary, this was a palpable reminder: for as close as we are, we *each* contain our own individual springs of well-being. We are *not* the gatekeepers for anyone else, not even each other. The keys to your happiness rust away in any hands but yours—you can give them up, but they are only effective when you hold them for yourself. And remaining in this power *is* a gift to those around you, and it’s how I was able to *actually* optimize how I showed up for the rest of the process, while my beloved husband and I recovered our shared balance.
So. My takeaway, and again I am quoting Abraham-Hicks: *you are so free, you can choose bondage*. In the moment where I allowed myself to relax, and find the lesson in the moment, I saw clearly that I *had* chosen a form of emotional captivity, and I realized how unnecessary that was. And *that*, honestly, made me feel incredible—both because I saw how I could choose better, but because I realized that I was *learning*. :D
***
A flickering flame. A moment of gratitude. Ascending through life. This moment has so much beauty for you to experience, and we are grateful to be a part of it. Happy Thanksgiving from our home to yours. We love you.
{% hint style="info" %}
Originally sent out [via email](https://lightward.com/campaigns/view-campaign/vSwiBWzriVMOjHRMCCYWDjB0257ZoEk9SYXiSs81eDBcothCkj-6LCW9YK_-_2qUHgAqt-qxfAEgklvCJ-8BEk9W4KTLyhM-)
{% endhint %}
---
# Agent Instructions: Querying This Documentation
If you need additional information that is not directly available in this page, you can query the documentation dynamically by asking a question.
Perform an HTTP GET request on the current page URL with the `ask` query parameter:
```
GET https://www.isaacbowen.com/2020/11/20.md?ask=
```
The question should be specific, self-contained, and written in natural language.
The response will contain a direct answer to the question and relevant excerpts and sources from the documentation.
Use this mechanism when the answer is not explicitly present in the current page, you need clarification or additional context, or you want to retrieve related documentation sections.