things on my mind

(warning: self-absorbed whinefest ahead. approach with caution.)

school

calc II Currently passing, not by much. >_> It’s quite true, what others have said – get through high school without a problem, enjoying being above the curve, only to run into the situation where you’re abysmally normal and run the risk of failing like everyone else. Garr.

tech comm Not a chance of failing. But I should probably do the read/response questions someday. … Yeah.

finances Bothersome that you can’t see your bill online. (Which reminds me… /me goes off to pay off the Chase card with a $14ish convenience charge to have the payment posted in time, something of a necessity in order to ensure that the paycheck coming tomorrow can be applied to today's card payment... bah) I still have a Bursar’s hold on my registration. Wonder if that’s why my grades aren’t being posted… nah, that shouldn’t be the case. Though all of my money should be in at this point… my payment and the scholarships. Should be.

loft A trivial thing to be all tense over. I ordered a loft. Because the space would be nice. The loft company didn’t get back to me for a week and a half, so I called them. Supposed to be here soon. I disassembled the bedframe and threw it and the mattress into the hall storage room. For the time being, not having any clue when the loft people were going to show up. … Apparently using the storage room for anything is a policy violation. sigh

work Shift starts in half an hour. Working with a fellow who, while quite nice, makes things slightly awkward. :/

personal

family They made it to Germany, safely and without being shaken up too much. Huzzah! Had a vid call with them this morning. Heh, they’re dealing with jet lag. Looks like all’s well with them, however. Not so much my sister who is remaining State-side to finish high school at semester. Ill and missing the family. Poor girl.

friends The one that decided to join the Navy and move out, before graduating high school. The one who’s lost another relationship. The one that I really don’t want to lose contact with, and there’s little chance of that happening, but it bothers me nonetheless. The potential one. The one I lost.

All in horribly ambiguous and melodramatic terms, yes. Allow me my ambiguity and melodrama.

[ a synonym for “general state of mind” beginning with ‘f’ ] I’m horribly off-kilter. I have no idea why.

work back home One day I should learn the difference between omitting information that really doesn’t need to be brought up, and omitting information that I think doesn’t need to be brought up, but really should be. … Actually, I should just learn to disregard what I think more often. >_>

somewhere I belong My home no longer exists, in practical terms. And won’t for another year. Still no idea what I’m going to do for Christmas break. Or freaking summer, for that matter. I want to go home, but I don’t think I can justify getting an apartment. Even if I work 55hrs/wk like last year.

Wonder if they’d give me a raise…

hair Aha, something superficial and ultimately unimportant. My hair is mostly gone. I’m wearing my glasses again. … Never was one for gradual changes in personal appearances. Just huge jumps from unassuming high school kid to pseudo-punk businessguy to collegiate geek. Bah.

sleep Still hate dreaming. Still just want to pass out for a few hours and dream of nothing. Instead of… mistreated sheep. And executives in a crumbling sandstone building. Wtf.

——

Oh well. At least my brokerage account only lost $46.43 today. Would have been more if I had more funds to invest, after all.

pfft.