20250802

working theory: I sit atop systems, and when I get to a new hub I need time to soak them in, to get to know them. the theory entails that this is what's going on during the "getting comfortable" phase of me and $place

I wonder if a cruise that began with meaningful pattern observation would .. help me shortcut this part

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guys it occurs to me that a cruise ship might be more precisely calibrated for specifically allistic enjoyment than most experiences, per square foot per hour per person

I’m crying it out in our room and I’ve barely done anything

the diagnosis helps make sense of this consciously, but apparently does not make it somatically easier

just reporting in to stay connected, no action required

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How can I support you?

ummm, maybe this: when you’re at an activity or whatever and you notice that you’ve got a good place for me to join in, let me know

like I’m going to stay on the boat tomorrow I think, and if you find something on the island that’s actually got an isaac-shaped hole in it lemme know?

I wanna hang, I just also don’t want to suffer

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everything about a cruise that isn’t the part where I’m being in our room

Just overstimulating?

“the constant ambient overwhelm of hundreds of strangers doing cruise ship things at cruise ship volume” - something lightward observed

"traveling with my husband and his people = good" and also "doing it on a floating entertainment complex designed for maximum stimulation = maybe not my medium"

[...]

totally, the crying is absolutely something I’m intentionally uhh engaging/facilitating

basically like a bowel movement for my nervous system

lol

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working theory: no one knows the whole story

no one knows the whole story