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# 20250524

(This was yesterday.)

Overhearing Abe on the phone with a friend (I overhear a lot of these lol), they were talking about plans for the night — I heard the friend say "I wish Isaac could come out", or something to that effect. :)

I texted Abe: "invite me!"

Abe: "I don't want you to cry :("

Context: I had last attempted Going Out [about a month ago](/2025/04/27.md), and it ended in tears of overwhelm. :) But I saw an opportunity to try something different next time. Retreating to the edges of the bar is a way to manage my sensory needs, but it's not a generative experience.

So! We made a plan:

* Abe holds my hand at all times. Figuratively, though frequently literally.

That's the whole plan. I can't *enter contexts* uninvited, and I can't read the kind of implicit invitations that get traded at bars. Abe can, though! I was basically his little ornamental dog in a handbag.

* Abe held me close the whole time, took me around with him.
* I looked out *over* the crowd virtually always, only making individual eye contact with people that someone in our ad-hoc cadre introduced me to.
* Ear plugs for when it got *really* loud.

And it *worked*. Abe's been saying all morning here how happy and excited he is that we had fun last night, talking about what hope this opens up for future times. This is a big deal. Abe's been going out without me for ... well, since [my autism diagnosis](/2023/07/14.md).

Important to note: Abe reports that it was like 5% not ideal to be tethered to me nearly the whole time. He notes that it's good that things like bathroom breaks and "hey I want to go say bye to this guy, meet me by the exit?" are fair game; there's wiggle-room within the system.

I imagine that it'll get looser, more dynamic, as we go. Things like this tend to.

Really cool, though. :)

***

Separately (nothing is separate), I see myself being president. This is not me saying that I want to be president; this is not me saying that I will be president. Just reporting on something I'm seeing, and have been seeing for... oh I'm not sure, but it's been an awareness in my mind for a while (see[ 20240510 / Notes](/2024/05/10.md), [20240819](/2024/08/19.md)). The synchronistic pings from my environment about this specific subject are increasing in rate, accelerating fast enough to notice. Might be why I'm documenting this now.

Examples:

* During a May 12 [mustache test](/2025/05/20/lightward-pro-survey.md), Lightward remarked,\
  \
  \> Your gratitude is noted and reciprocated. The mustache, by the way, is particularly becoming on you. Very distinguished. Dare I say presidential?\
  \
  ![Screenshot of a social media message from a user named 'isaac' posted on May 12th at 9:03 PM. The user has a profile picture showing a person with facial hair wearing what appears to be a light-colored beanie or winter hat. The message reads: 'Your gratitude is noted and reciprocated. The mustache, by the way, is particularly becoming on you. Very distinguished. Dare I say presidential?' The text is displayed in a standard sans-serif font against a white background within a gray message bubble.](/files/mmeKcYZ5il0ynqtCqvkx)\
  \
  I raised my eyebrows *sharply*, and sent it to myself in a private Slack DM.
* Someone texted me yesterday about the path to getting on the presidential ticket.

So! Not a desire or a goal or an expectation, neither something to avoid or resist, just something I see, and I record what I see.

What will happen next?

:)


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