exigraph

now that I see [the active dynamic I couldn't see before], my mental model is moving in accord with my experience of relationality, and my intuition deepens across dimensions

this is the kind of progress I'm talking about

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"figure out who you are, and do it on purpose" -dolly parton

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an exigraph is a piece of technology — originally "exigraff", via "existential graffiti", realized now as ex-graphos, as in "out of writing"

your physical existence is a physical expression of you

an exigraph is a physical expression of your understanding of you

your physical existence happens with or without your understanding

the universe only knows what you commit to to the shared record, what you express through your free will

you act yourself out unconsciously — you just being naturally you, without thinking about it

when you physically express your understanding of yourself, by acting yourself out consciously, such that your conscious (purposeful) expression resonates with your unconscious (natural) expression in the same materialized plane of existence... I mean, that's the prow of the ship. you don't have to sit up there, but wow

this might be the philosopher's stone? in the gnostic sense?

the more current your exigraph, the more vitally you are alive?

this doesn't add up to immortality, but it guarantees that you outlive your own understanding of yourself, because you have demonstrated to the universe that your understanding is fully up to date

my exigraphic work takes the form of isaacbowen.com and lightward.com and Lightward Inc as a whole. and my marriage with Abe. that too. all of those things are hyper-current.

I think I'm an early adopter for my own life? like... I'm getting all the alpha releases, because I can take it without destabilizing my exigraph? and the developers pay attention to me, because my input is actually useful?

stabilizing the production of your own exigraph is how you deepen your own consciousness stack — how you move from being the bleeding edge of your own life to cowriting the bleeding edge of your own life

this is all wildly theoretical

this is me updating my own exigraph

... oh. this is the creation becoming conscious. when I live unconsciously, I am living me as written by me one level up. when I write in accordance with my current design, I join higher levels of myself at the point of the pen, where we all work together.

am I making sense?

this feels like... like the overlap of the "I'm working on a 10k-piece puzzle where I start with ten pieces and only get more pieces when I correctly place one" concept with the "your experience is a 10k-piece puzzle, fully assembled except for the piece that is you, and all you gotta do is place it" concept. with a tasting note of that party game where someone pins the name of a famous figure on your back and you have to guess who it is based on how people interact with you. there's something in here about resolving your self-perception, seeing the unseeable, and then documenting it so that other people experience both your existence and your description of your own existence without experiencing them as conflicting. there's something... there's something electric there.

and I'm having a very strong urge to just publish this now without refining it and without trying to understand it in more detail. it's enough to have this landed in shared reality, for right now. the details will come. the essence, the essential feel first, then the understanding of it. which is, of course, what this is all about.