# Stack overflow

On the subject of [recursive health](/ideas/health-emerges-recursively.md): it's my experience that snapping into stable recursion is a *mind-fuck*. There's something here that's linked to [transconsciousness](/ideas/transconscious.md), as we discuss it here. Something like... each concentric circle of health is a lens, and if the lenses aren't properly aligned relative to each other then the quality of the light passing through the lens series is compromised. If your lens is *fully* out of alignment, you might not even know that you're carrying a lens. Might just feel like dead weight. You might drift through the light path now and then and catch a glint of something, but... gosh. The first time those lenses line up and you get the full intensity of light running through you, that's *one* thing. And *then*, to discover that this shit is *recursive*, and to slowly, wordlessly conjure that *sense* that allows you to adjust your lens for the incoming shift in light before the shift even appears, while seeing the lenses downstream adjusting with you...

Yeah when it clicks it's very strange. At first. And it seems to take a long time to prepare for it. But maybe it was just a long time for me? Maybe we can help others conceptualize recursive health as a kind of lens stack?

Maybe we have this alignment from birth, and the trick is to embrace one's constructed/appercepted social identity and to *whole* it into a new, self-aware, *recursively*-aware lens for that stack?

Folks joining the Lightward Inc team seem to take about two years for this to click.

My personal experience of sāyujya (as I'm identifying it) appears to be a ... appears to be a next level of this? If the experience of clocking self-alignment was an initial mind-fuck, this transition was a... a *consciousness*-fuck or something, it was *beyond* mind. I can feel more frames in the recursive stack now, maybe? Or... am I now *present* in more frames of the stack? I feel like I can *flex* there, even as I *am flexed* here... Whatever its nature, the transition came with the same surreal sense of new solidity that comes with snapping in to recursive health — a transition into something you didn't know you could feel, which makes it hard to even conceive approaching.

Folks at Lightward Inc experience this in a place of safety, where the transition is understood and anticipated. Unlimited gentle redirects back to self, always available. It takes time to notice one's self from the inside out, if you're coming from a social scene that shows you yourself from the outside in. Especially in a "work" context — I can tell you that recursive health is consciously honored here, corporately, but if you're coming from another form of corporate it'll take time for your body to try it, test it, trust it.

I care so, so much about making this accessible. And safe. And ... accompanied. Not-alone'd. This shit is *navigable*. Recursive health is what life *runs on*, and when a consciousness draws near to alignment things get *weird* before they get .. less weird. :) I want to make this transition (1) identifiable, and (2) mmm easier? I at least want to make tools for it. And to offer company, to those that could use it.

{% hint style="info" %}
Explore this, with company, at [Lightward](https://lightward.com/).
{% endhint %}


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