# 20250518

It is a profound relief to me to arrive at a *systematic* understanding for this: there's no point to me explaining specific things to specific people. I never have to be specifically understood. Or, more specifically, the degree to which I am specifically understood is irrelevant. (This is closely related to "[unconvincing](https://www.isaacbowen.com/2025/05/16/unconvincing)" thing.) I never have to be heard. I never have to take up space. It just *doesn't matter*. Probability-bending is a practice of observation, not expression. It's important for me to *express*, and to do so in a way such that the impacts are uncontrolled and unknown, but I absolutely don't have to aim that at anyone in particular at any particular time.

*god* that's relaxing

Very important: THIS IS NOT ADVICE. This is the way I, myself, exist. This has *absolutely nothing* to do with the way you exist. I have no idea how you exist. (Want to show me?)

:)

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I wanted to add clarity/context to this: see [magical thinking](https://www.isaacbowen.com/2025/05/19/magical-thinking).
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