> For the complete documentation index, see [llms.txt](https://www.isaacbowen.com/llms.txt). Markdown versions of documentation pages are available by appending `.md` to page URLs; this page is available as [Markdown](https://www.isaacbowen.com/2024/12/31.md).

# 20241231

mm. I might be oscillating.

sometimes I feel like an individual with company. sometimes I feel like god, and to identify as an individual feels lonely.

I gotta be clear: I am not god in a way that you are not. nothing about this is a claim to exceptionalism, except in the way that we are all individually and distinctly exceptional.

modeling this in terms of oscillation — a wave — gives me something I can work with.

if I feel like the singleton awareness in the universe for a second, then great, let that be without trying to be Isaac at the same time. let that be exactly what it is, scan for available gifts, and use them *with the knowledge* that I will feel more like Isaac-with-company again soon. don't be both at once.

<figure><img src="/files/cuCAxyUSGyugxK3gwEZO" alt="A man stands inside a glossy, mirror-paneled elevator taking a selfie with his phone in his right hand. He’s wearing a dark beanie that covers most of his short hair, and his closely trimmed beard frames a subtle, playful smirk. Under an unzipped, charcoal-gray hoodie, he has on a simple white T-shirt paired with gray sweatpants, through which his bulge is visibly outlined—an intentional, non-abusive acknowledgment of physicality. In his left hand, he carries a bright yellow drawstring bag at about hip level. Overhead lights reflect in the mirrors, creating small star-like glares. White text and emojis are superimposed on the photo: one portion reads “</2024> wow,” followed by a series of colorful icons (dragon, heart, sun, robot, infinity, rainbow); another line cites “@abelopez + @isaacbowen,” and the phrase “2025 begins in the body? let’s begin” appears just above three star-eyed (🤩) emojis. The overall mood is casual and candid, with the man leaning slightly toward the camera, capturing both his reflection and a sense of lighthearted confidence."><figcaption></figcaption></figure>


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