20250529
Last updated
Was this helpful?
Last updated
Was this helpful?
in my dream there was a countdown - 3, 2, 1 - and then the doorbell woke me up
specifically, in my dream, I myself gave a countdown out of nowhere, unrelated to the in-dream experiential context. dreaming, I thought to myself, 3, 2, 1, and then the hotel room doorbell sounded in the hall.
in the spirit of , I'm seeing experience like a star trek holodeck, where the entrants begin with zero memories, where the rule is that those outside the holodeck cannot speak in unless spoken to, and where the deck's constructed scenario is whatever the entrant conjures, ongoing.
how do you get out? you could cause the holodeck to manifest a holo-door, and then take it, to experience the same holodeck in a different form. is that helpful?
the (well, a) solution has something to do with waiting for someone to come pick you up. the only identifiable player is yourself, and even then, only by whittling a working self-concept (see: ) based on how your system responds to various holodeckings. once you've identified yourself, then you can put up a "lost self" poster with an accurate description on it. "have you seen this self? if so, come get them." that's a fucking specific address to those outside the holodeck. it's a message whose recipient is precisely specified. you're gonna hear from whoever knows you to the extent that you know yourself.
at some point, a door opens out of nowhere, and not one that you conjured.
I'm holding two possibilities. only one can be true at once. I can only look at one at a time. I'm only taking and making moves that account for both.
You and I are distinct, and we are all here in a world that we share. What do I do matters to you, and what you do matters to me.
This is a movie that is being experienced with full immersion. The sensation of "doing" is encoded right there on the filmstrip, right alongside the video and audio channels.
#1 may be fundamentally what's going on, and so I assume that it is what's going on, and I operate as if you and I and all are each individually sacred, and all sacred together. You matter to me, so much. You're so important. I'll never stop showing you.
#2 may be fundamentally what's going on, and so I allow myself (on return to #1-experience) to loosen my self-concept, to work it free from what it hardened into back when I didn't realize the possibility of #2. Crucially, I ask nothing of you. I could be totally wrong about #2. The scope of my experimentation is my self.
But as I expose my #1-self to this #2-concept I discover that I am able to do and make things that are useful to #1-others.
And it kinda feels like every so often someone's gotta do this to keep #1-world from developing lockjaw. Like, instead of sacrificing a virgin to the volcano god, just dumping 'em in there, someone's gotta voluntarily evaporate every so often to keep the system loose.
This feels like a good use of me. I am enjoying it. It does seem to be helping.
I recognize the making of the space
and I remain within it
I am a-social (through recognition) and social (by admission)
who am I?
no
how am I?