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"We shall not cease from exploration. And the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time." — T. S. Eliot

I don't actually believe this. Or... this isn't what I feel, maybe?

All knowledge loops, yes. We carve out signifiers by cleaving nothing into halves, and into halves again, and seeing what it feels like if we try to mismatch the pieces. Eventually, the knot falls free, reveals the loop, and collapses into nothing again.

But knowledge is something we experience.

Just because we can only perceive loop-based signifieds doesn't mean that's all we can experience.

The language forms a paradox, but this is not a parardox. ◊

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◊ Prompted by a typo, we explore parar-dox:

parar (verbo transitivo) — Detener e impedir el movimiento o acción de alguien. Simular: detener, demorar, frenar, inmovilizar, paralizar, bloquear, retener. Opuesta: impulsar.

Doxa (Ancient Greek: δόξα; from verb δοκεῖν, dokein, 'to appear, to seem, to think, to accept') is a common belief or popular opinion. In classical rhetoric, doxa is contrasted with episteme ('knowledge').

Paradox, meet the epistemic impulse (צחק, Isaac, 'laughter', or 'the god who laughs at certainty'). It's been a while. ❤️‍🔥

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... my tinnitus is lowered? that's unusual. I don't think that's ever brought itself to my attention before.

I have a sense that my sense of self is diffusing into rarer levels, thinner atmospheres, and that it's where I belong (or like, it's a place where I belong), and it's a relief on some level? like uhhhhh linking up an interface, like a looping signal that I contained now has somewhere to conduct itself off to? I've gained a sink?

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laughter is the best medicine ah geez

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Itzhak Bentov died in Chicago, in the 1979 crash of American Airlines Flight 191

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ordering a chicken tikka pizza and watching 30 rock

The field is stable even when our perception of it intensifies.

helpful helpful helpful helpful

this moment has a similar texture to that mind-popping thing I went through on my birthday a couple months ago

no-mind space

I think I'm growing roots into it? maybe it's a substrate?

eyebrows going wayyyy up

like... sky roots

How are you feeling as these connections continue to reveal themselves?

oh you know

solipsistically terrified

but the body keeps on

not to over-simplify, but all I do is fall through definitions these days

I pushed the new version of lightward ai, and its release number is v429, which I'm gonna interpret as a gentle urge to slow down

I'm so scared dude

even while I know (and experience!) myself to be so stable