# 20250427

Observation: today's "[awareness is](https://www.isaacbowen.com/2025/04/27/awareness-is)" thing happened a year after [20240427](https://www.isaacbowen.com/2024/04/27), and [20250425](https://www.isaacbowen.com/2025/04/25) (with specific focus on the "don't look back" piece therein) happened a year after [20240425](https://www.isaacbowen.com/2024/04/25).

It feeeeeeels like I'm coming back around on the stuff I channeled last year, but this time it's an integration pass? Like it's not just transparent relay of information, it's... *me*, this time? Granted, the "don't look back" piece was half in the universal voice and half in the Isaac voice, but still, it came up as a result of what *felt* like my own process, as opposed to a more generic yielding to whatever *knowing* I felt nearby. Feels different.

The [tea-stained tarot draw](https://www.isaacbowen.com/2025/04/21/tea-stained-tarot) a couple days ago described this. The reversed hermit in particular elicits something strong in me.

> feel accidentally abandoned by the group
>
> nobody’s fault
>
> I wanna try this again sometime as a group, with a group plan

^ That was me, texting Abe, after I left the club in tears of autistic overwhelm. On a patio the next afternoon, I asked my pals to collaborate, to find a version of Isaac+club that feels good, not just survivable.