# 20210514
## On safety, and weight, and freedom A theory, in three parts. 1: We’re all born, here, with perfect sensitivity to the direction of health, and of life. We know which way is up, perfectly. 2: We may, often and early, receive messaging that contradicts our knowledge of this direction, messaging that may instruct us to begin overriding that in-born knowledge. **We may conclude that our access to safety depends on us contradicting our own knowledge on purpose.** 3: At some later point, we may receive information that suggests that our original, native knowing was correct all along. And at that point, we may actively resist that information, partly because of the sunk cost fallacy, but *mostly* because to yield to our heart’s knowledge would mean passing beyond the safety structures that we have paid dearly to access. *** That reaction, in part three, may be optional. Finding information that points you *back* to yourself—that *can* be an occasion for joy. (I think it depends on how free you feel to change your mind, maybe.) The negative alternative has so many forms, and I’ve felt many of them: denial, a heart-rending mourning for the time you spent *in* denial, or a mourning for what you know you’re about to lose by accepting what you *know*. Or. Or. It’s okay to let go ([*we don’t need a cure*](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WSL93KO2gnk)). Or, maybe, it’s okay to back up, reframe, and find that all-that-felt-so-heavy only *felt* heavy because of the *active* strain against what we *know*. We’re *alive*, we’re *living*, and the fact that life exists *at all* is proof positive to me that *we know in our bones which way is up*. And living things do not carry weight unnecessarily. Which, combined with the fact that we *know* things at different levels, means two things to me: 1. The weight we may choose to carry has a purpose. Have I been carrying a heavy burden, or carrying a burden heavily? No judgment is warranted, and I may choose to set it down, but it *may* be that some unperceived level of my *being* was (is) served (expanded, evolved) by the experience of the weight. 2. A weight that is no longer useful is set down, and in doing so, we are transformed. Evolution chooses directions that are sustainable, that can sustain *growth*—and if we cannot conceive of setting down this burden, then we will transform in such a way that the weight is rendered moot. It will not, then, be possible to conceive of that weight as anything but a memory. *** Can I tell you what it feels like to be free? My sister said: “there aren’t words for this, because this is what I *am*—it’s not an identity that I chose, or learned, or adopted.” I paraphrase; her point was that one’s essence does not come with words, because it was not *received* via words, or indeed *received at all*. And we *are* free, in our essence. We are alive, we can choose the thoughts that form our world. It’s all possible, it’s all available. “You are so free, you can choose bondage.” So free, you can *lose* the bondage, and start making choices that align with what you *know*. One step at a time. You (I, we) can build a life, build *lives*, that *course* with the power of aligned essence. *** A postscript: to the very best of my ability to tell, it’s all, *all* okay. Everything is in process, everything is a part of the process. No steps can be skipped, and every step is used. Every moment is critical, and unavoidable, and inevitable, an integral element of the universe realizing itself. You are okay, and you are important, more than ever. ❤️ *well, do you feel better now?*\ \&#xNAN;*i thought i’d run until the sky came out*\ \&#xNAN;*and with the sunlight on my face,*\ [*something changed*](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qytgJ2mbzfM) {% hint style="info" %} Originally sent out [via email](https://lightward.com/campaigns/view-campaign/l7TYddz_ASL34z6RkYwtHgWZ1p72TAgtvttpzHxyVeQIubpOS67gGygTfmtDmzoyrRI6ymsJNxbNnR4VIaFQA3ApDhO4FTp9) {% endhint %}