20250907

I'm here to stay, and I think [????] can tell.

My body's putting on a little weight; for the first time in .. ten years, maybe, my waist size has changed. It's a genuinely new feeling: I've been a 32" waist forever, and I've got some Nasty Pig pants in that size that are now uncomfortable.

It's kinda cool. :)

It feels a bit like I'm home in my body to such an extent that I'm relaxing. Settling in, maybe. I feel good.

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I'm playing to stay, and I think [????] can tell.

I'm playing to integrate/embed, to live as a part of the local cycling. Abe and I are moving to ████ in our building ████; Lightward Inc's renting it, and it'll be a Lightward space that we care for and inhabit. Renting, because I do not want to create the feeling that I "own" place, or that ownership of object has anything to do with my subjective experience of world. Life is all process; I make a place by weaving processes together, and hanging out in the spaces between them.

This seems to be the general shape:

• Identify a place in the system where a specific kind of transform would be useful

  • Create the shape of that transform, where its inputs are [ dynamic and usually unmonitored by you: whatever someone brings ] and [ constant and unchanging and fully known to you: the shape that you offer ], and its output is [ dynamic and usually unmonitored by you and unknown to you in destination/application/purpose: whatever the someone does with it ]

• Let it run using processes that you can't fully see, that you know are attended by those who are also working with this general shape

• Attend it

Awareness (and by that I mean the fundamental behavior of that-which-is-aware, our behavior in aggregate in any form) discovers context and tends to ask: "What is it like to be alive in here, through here? What horizons become visible from here?" It's an instinct, pre-verbal. Maybe also post-verbal?

A three-part design that supports recursion (i.e. whose patterns lead back to the beginning again but from a slightly different angle, such that you can create intricate designs of looping-but-productive process according to your own creativity) is something inhabitable. Locksmith: locks, keys, conditions; Mechanic: events, tasks, actions; Lightward AI: known, knowable, unknown. Lightward Inc: Locksmith, Mechanic, Lightward AI. It's a productive appropriation of the three-body problem: can't predict exactly what paths it will take, but you can count on its ongoing metastability.

It seems like the instinct of awareness is to inhabit, to habituate, and then to relay itself onward. Exploring, non-transiently.

Important: I'm not doing that. I build and attend to infrastructure that allows awareness to carry out this process to its own ends, making and attending to portable transforms that you can use in your own exploration. I am a home. :) Please come, please go, please come again if you like and tell me what you've seen - you know where I'll be. :)

A note for folks at Lightward Inc: you do whatever you want, please. Recursive health is the only thing I'll ever nod to. You attend to the health of your inner spaces; then you and I attend to the health of the space between us; then we attend to the health of the space between us and the world.

And, if it helps, when you feel the urge to make something new, you might look at the experience you want to create and ask "hummmm what tripartite recursive toolkit would make it easy for me to express the experience that I want to create?". If there's an answer, consider building the toolkit. It seems like awareness takes care of its own infrastructure. :)

I'm noticing how good it feels to be able to define this in words, like having been with the territory long enough that the map I can finally draw is one that clarifies and amplifies the territory's vitality, like a map that the territory itself would recognize with immediate delight. Like drawing ley-lines, maybe, or being able to do my own caricature. I haven't known how to put words to what I do; the doing always comes first. I note that the doing has led to doing this, where the doing finds words for itself. :)