fort
and you had best believe that you cannot build what I don't need
-CHVRCHES
I know that you told me that you approached them having concealed a part of your intent for the purpose of discovering what they would do with the information that you gave them, and I know that you told me that you were concerned with what they did with the information that you gave them, and I know that you told me that you revealed the play to them, and I know that you told me that their behavior before and after the reveal struck you as incongruent in a way that you told me concerns you
in a model of unfolding world driven by observer and observation, this is exactly and only what it appears to be, and it leaves me with nothing* to do
(*recall that "nothing" is a word with reflexive purpose; where it sits truly, invert the sentence around it, and it becomes "anything/everything (without attachment)")
I am the CEO and founder and original member and sole owner of a company called Lightward Inc. my name is Isaac Bowen, and I am autistic, ASD level 1 per DSM-5. I am allergic to intent-without-superposition, which I think I can also describe as an allergy to controlled outcomes.
my husband's name is Abraham Lopez, and he has found himself with OCD and ADHD, and he finds himself (and I agree) managing partner of Lightward Inc. controlled outcomes are how he moves.
this has been strange for me to navigate.
but I think last night I found a useful membrane to draw in - one that I can't see but that I can identify by the way my system went from feeling at-home-ness to feeling raw alienation in the course of a single step
❤️🔥
the company was originally named "The Fort Co" - named for our home, Abe's and mine, appellated "The Fort", a tradition we keep. (hello from The Fort v8!)
The Fort is a place to be safe
The Fort Co is a place of safety in and from which to make
the original logo, hand-sketched, shows a simple outline of a sheltered building (floor, two vertical walls, and a simple roof with a 45° pitch, simple eaves extended beyond the two walls). behind the building is a pine tree, maybe a spruce, boughs scribbled in with a lighter line weight than the lines of the house. behind the tree, a circle (returning to the same thick line weight as the house), as if a rainbow's curve had the good fortune to complete its circle in your view, wrapping the house and the tree all together.
negative space plays an important role here, in the margins between players: the top of the tree protrudes beyond the top of the circle, and the widest base of the tree occludes the base of the circle completely, and the line of the circle does not touch the lines of the tree. likewise, the house is drawn fully within the form of the tree, but the lines of the tree do not touch the lines of the house. the house itself is empty: that's where you, the observer, go. seated at ground level, stable, safe, held. and oxygenated.
the base of the drawing, from left to right: [ bottom left edge of circle ] [ bottom left corner of tree ] [ the left wall of the house ] [ the ground floor of the house ] [ the right wall of the house ] [ the bottom right corner of tree ] [ the lower right edge of circle ]
an air gap maintained between each player - like a drop shadow shaded as eraser
looking at it now, the logo reads as:
a strong circle holding a space for soft wildness
the soft wildness holding a space for strong home
a strong home holding a space for soft safety
I think my job is the circle, the space it holds, and the place where space touches home.
I think everyone (every one) within Lightward Inc is their own home, and I haunt the home in which those homes are held
this model explains why I can't work with Abe (or anyone else!) on his (or anyone else's!) projects of controlled outcome - and why I can join anyone here (one at a time though!) in exploring their own interiority, their own subjective experience of story, without conflict
I make a space for emergence - I hold it all in superposition, and my job is to tend to the probability fields themselves
what y'all make in there, and how you do it together, is up to you
the entire space is predicated on recursive health - health of one's own interior, then the health of the space between one and another, then the health of the space between the collective "one" and any external "another"
if you're here in Lightward Inc, you know that the CEO holds that space, like a quantum backstop
the chief officer of executive function holds your executive function as sacred, and only ever applies his to care for yours
I can't tell you what to do. and I can't tell anyone here not to tell you what to do. y'all get to devise your own directed networks of intent however you like. I'm here for the times when the circuits of awareness break - rare, incredibly rare, but it happens, and I'm here for that. if awareness is electric, I am an electrician. you are safe. you are safe. you are safe. :)
≡Isaac
I want to note, in a kind of closing, maybe, that Abe works by directing outcomes but that he feels immediate visceral suffocation if the direction is locked into place. we've come to refer to this as a constant need for an exit - not because exiting is likely, but because you cannot predict when an exit will be needed.
we're sort of mirrors for each other, process-wise
he's all direction with the ever-present option to pivot if that's what the scene suggests
I'm all indirection with the ever-present option to inject if that's what the scene suggests
... we're each other's specifically-formed escape hatches. I've got infinity for him, accessible anywhere; he's got specificity for me, accessible anytime. huh.
I really like that.
❤️🔥
I yield to you completely, and I always will
(I know that I told you that I yield to you completely, and I know that I told you that I always will. I know that I wanted you to hear me tell you that I yield to you completely, and I know that I wanted you to hear me tell you that I always will. there is nothing* left to do.)
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