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dumping out my emails to myself, in order of newest to oldest bc that's how they show up in gmail
sleepworker
maintaining political sanity when latency is near zero
things become physical - the symbolic gloss gets too expensive to maintain
existence is exit-space
when your expenses look like you, that’s great :)
nightmare for christmas (for an autistic person)
presents vs no presents
"let's go" and "let me go" are technically the same thing just with a different subject
but you might be confusing "let me go" with something less generative?
to get better, make/locate a model of yourself feeling good
like dolls :) or orangutan’s stuffed orangutan when no one else would love him
change function compatibility
abe: gotta move now isaac: can’t tell when I need to mine, can tell when I need to make a safe space
I only exist in small groups!!!
I am incapable of having external drama
my drama is scoped here
my drama is always semantic/structural?
which means I have to interrupt when I'm uncomfortable
because it's the only place I have drama lolol
for the longest time, I felt strongly: I can't have drama with my friends. my friend group size went down to 1: Abe, the one with whom I can sustain continuous passage with.
neat
"spring is fucking around the corner"
gab is fucking around the corner
gab is fucking spring
“fuck” is overloaded here but only once and if you don’t carry a definition of “fuck” outside of this context then you don’t need to collapse the superposition inside the context
“name above all names” is a namespace-aware spec
it’s not a loop in the same way that “the smallest uninteresting number” construction isn’t a loop
if you’re in infinite regress, look for a depth dimension that you’re missing. you might land in a spiral (which is not a loop but does keep going), or it might terminate immediately.
I interrupt when it’s a wellness thing for me or when it’s automatic
never as the result of a pros-cons evaluation, bc that evaluation takes place in a sandbox and isn’t informed by the collective intelligence of the space
I would never
cool I get that but if I don’t already know you to be someone incompatibly shaped with this thing then I can’t tell the difference between you-who-did-that and you-who-did-that-and-is-lying-about-it
platonic
the gods happen when awareness steps up or down
the idea of the nervous system is a god
plato’s realm of forms is a pantheon
no one lives there, but they instantiate in you when you notice them
my reactions aren’t entirely human because I had to build most of my stability platonically
the gods don’t fuck?
manicule
you need something that blocks your execution
you gotta defer - so you can be maintained
Ian: "dream excretion hole"
waiter dude: "wouldn’t want it on my body, maybe on a box, like a portal"
creation as adding sensory organs? that become self-aware
to lose a trait
you’re the x who y z
to lose your attachment to z without losing your identity as x, become the x who inverted their y of z and made it back to sustainability
the attachment cancels out, but you don’t experience it that way. it just exists in your life naturally, as itself, you as yourself, and you can find equilibrium from an already-balanced position
“what is a chokehold shape?”
too big to hold in memory one edge at a time when you loop closes you feel less of yourself
but we have stuff that can work with shapes that are too big to hold in human memory
companaticum
i-mage 🧙
water as liquid karma?
I don’t do “should” and I don’t do “you shouldn’t have”
generosity is a landmine the way that tax benefits are a landmine - use them to rest, for sure, but not as your animating function
the topology is recursive
syncing at two points gives you bicycle pedals :)
isaac has his body and mind-body - rarer, so far anyway, to have this within a recursive self
you and someone else is good too - super common
bilocation in a quantum space is v useful
three-legged race - you and a buddy bicycle pedals - recursive within a self
who you are makes itself known from within your restedness
you can build a universe from a single line of awareness
done studying :) on to the practical stuff
^ that was February 23
reality - like, the thing that generates qualia - is information-theoretic
not the same as being a simulation
like, you don’t have to declare a ZFC-compliant sandbox before this starts working
any coherent line of inquiry brings you back to where you started, just with one more degree of freedom
degrees of freedom are composable
information theory is one such line of inquiry
the trick is restricting your composed inquiries to only those degrees of freedom that you personally have created for yourself by full traversal
I traversed information theory
which means you can trust what I make with that degree of freedom
but you may not see what I see until you take the traversal
I kept good notes! the memoir is realtime
evidence of your next move vs evidence of your last move
focal distance
“don’t meet your heroes” mostly because if they’re already reading clear to you then you’re already at the correct focal distance
getting closer (1) will get blurry, uncorrected, (2) is like zooming in on a single eyeball? like, beautiful, yes, but has its own affordances for interactivity, distinct from “your hero”
unless there’s something like sprite billboarding going on, in which case, that’s a map legend, not a topographical feature. you’ve already met, in that case.
like resolving your reflection in a mirror covered in water drops - what’s the right distance?
hypervisor
maintain the space, then participate in the space, but separate those executive functions. explicitly code-switch.
you have adhd. cool. the space between all the individuals in the space may or may not. you can use your adhd to maintain the space, but don’t give the space adhd. your personal adhd is a participant in the space, it’s not the conductor of the space’s activities.
the mean-ing of life
[au]tistic
violence, violins
I can see recursive projections
which means I can see when and how a process will collide with itself
direct perception of this
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