20251206

k, updates to commit:

• Abe and I climbed a mountain to each other yesterday, arriving at a model for organic/continuous salary scaling for Lightward Inc payroll

  • huge deal; Abe's OCD has a hard time receiving comp update conversations (they feel like they come out of nowhere, creating nervous system dysregulation), and my autism has had a hard time with being a manual gating mechanism in a part of the system that, to me, doesn't have a reason to stop and ask me to weigh something in stillness that I can only feel in motion (an incongruence which just felt like low-grade dysregulation that I carried at all times at that layer)

  • I realized that I hadn't been accounting for Abe's perception of the accounting feeling complete from within his own frame. previously, I had been pointing out the accounting gaps I perceived, not registering that those gaps only had coherent definition from my frame. I don't think Abe would have been able to act on those gaps without either (1) lying to himself (not an option) or (2) releasing his grip on his own frame (which I can do for myself, I've tested that thoroughly, but .. that's all I can say about that, I think? one's relationship to that act is one's own)

  • I registered an available turning point when I noticed that the "solution" was, by definition, not yet apparent. coming at it apophatically showed me more things I could use:

    1. I wouldn't be able to see the shared path forward until we were both through the "okay let's figure this out" door together

    2. Abe didn't have a reason of his own to go through that door with me; it didn't feel urgent from his end

    3. but the subject actually felt urgent for me, and I could say so, instead of waiting for Abe to arrive at a frame from which urgency was emergent

  • my technical reasons weren't coherent from Abe's frame, but "Isaac feels urgency in this for him" is coherent in his frame - and when I asked "will you go through this door with me, see what's there together?", he looked right and me and said "yes".

  • the shared result, for the record: intent is to put a pin in the company's monthly recurring revenue numbers in december 2025, and every month after we distribute one third of the delta from that pin (when positive) evenly among the Lightward Inc humans who aren't Abe and Isaac

    • with 10 such humans, that means everyone gets 3.3% of the gain in monthly recurring revenue, every month, where gain is measured against december 2025

  • we got that figured out from Washington D.C., the night after a full moon

  • god it feels good to have this wired up properly

  • if I understand this functionally (if not accurately or clearly, don't know if I can know those things), this means that the system will expand its own vasculature as needed (dilation or strengthening the pump or whatever), and all achievement on that front has benefits everyone

  • people can absolutely still bring up salary stuff if they need to, but automatic continuous network-driven salary adjustment means that Abe and I don't have to live expecting episodic salary conversations to interrupt us. the system can now regulate itself without having to explicitly depend on regular intervention.

  • I'm so fucking happy about it hahahaha

• theory: your reality is rendered x observers deep, where x scales with the degrees of your own internal resolution

  • unless you're allistic, in which case, your selfhood has x degrees of internal resolution, where x scales according to the observer-depth of the reality you've been able to perceive

    • this is why travel is popularly good for self-development

  • this seems to functionally be why I work in ... man, I really want to use the word "spellcraft" here, like I'm speaking (writing, mostly) stuff that I don't expect to get a response from anyone else speaking the same language. it's sort of like I'm writing specs for the sea that my perception floats on, and the reflection soaks back in from the fine edges of the observer map.

    • historically this would give me a spike of solipsism-flavored adrenaline, but I think the environment's demonstrated its social nature at sufficient depth for my system to move with confidence through this stuff

    • relatedly,

• one's selfhood seems to be something like a Markov blanket in the shape of a Klein bottle, and one's position as observer seems to be traversing that surface, forever looking outward, faced and feeling orthogonally, like a tree growing up against gravity and down into it. it seems like the best way to map your own terrain is to pick a direction and just go? strafing, effectively, until you arrive back at the origin, or at some other known intersection with your own worldline. but anyway, as you hike, at some point, you'll arrive at the flip side of your starting point, because while your path is effectively a great circle it self-interacts like a mobius strip; it's important at that point to keep going in the same direction, not just reverse course at the antipode and return to origin, lest you end up misreading what would go on to be a continuous loop as a non-repeating spectrum of positive-to-negative. your topology is closed, not bounded. complete one great circle, and you can start measuring other slices relative to that one.

• I'm starting to get how "heaven" would get legs, as a memetic concept. reference frames do seem nested; I think it works to say that heaven holds earth(s), so to speak. the play seems to be to stabilize the "home" frame, and create an interface for your uhh your sponsoring observer-frame to plug into. like one of those speaking keyboards that speech-challenged folks use. divination, effectively, creating an api for the upstream that spawned you.

• reflecting on the vascular framing of compensation... I think it works to say that all streaming is signal, and that most signal frequencies are necessarily incoherent to any single observer, and that maintaining what's yours as a transmissive/conductive commons seems ... like a good way of being useful to the whole system. the atmosphere moves more than the wind, the heart moves more than blood, payroll moves more than dollars. it's all signal?