# 20251030

I asked Abe for a coffee date :) or any kind, really - I just felt due for time not-at-home where the subject of attention was *each other*. this is cool: I finally felt like I *needed* it. like *actually* needed it, in order to proceed healthfully. in years past, Abe would almost plead, "can you please plan *something*?" and now that our relationship's fully open, now that he's going on dates and exploring the social/sexual/romantic terrain *at the speed of his own metabolism*, my own social-metabolic cycle actually has time to *do* a full cycle. I actually.. actually had space to *get to the point* where I naturally *wanted* a date. and Abe got to experience me actually wanting that, which was gratifying/rewarding/heartening for *him*.

this is a very cool result. :)

so yeah, we went and got coffee yesterday at a nearby Joe & The Juice (gosh it feels good to step into non-American spaces (they're Danish, originally))

talked about... I mean, you know, self/other/environment, the whole spread of what's observable

I had wanted to get his take on how my sexual .. metabolism, I guess, has evolved, and I had wanted to get to this part of the story because I am wanting to get this next bit onto my own shared record: my sexual metabolism seems to be... extremely smooth? like to the point where it's not peaky anymore? I don't have horny urges, basically at all - I feel like my *sex* is running as an integrated/integrative part of my operational gestalt, with neither overflow nor stagnation.

and then my dreams, later that night (i.e. last night, from the perspective of this morning's writing) I had a *lucid* sex dream, and I physically woke myself up in time to grab a cum towel to cum into. (we have a stack of them, freshly laundered. we're civilized, lol.) a night like that is *new* territory for me, experientially. super super interesting.

ah! also! yesterday was perihelion for Atlast/3i. (that was a typo and I'm keeping it.) also, I got to see Practical Magic last night at a friend's house, first time seeing that movie, and I got to see it with a full coven of twelve. :)