20251022

today is the first day that I had a shred of this feeling, like the information I just found was information that I remembered. people talk about that, you know? like "ah this thing I'm learning feels more like remembering" or "did I know you in another life?", that kind of thing. that hasn't been a thing for me (and I've noted this specifically — see 20250510, 20250604, 20251016). this sensation of familiarity is, itself, not a thing that feels familiar. this feels important. Abe asked, "is it like the tattoo on your arm?", the one about how information that's important always returns. (it is!)

the last couple days I've felt severely less functional; described it yesterday to Abe as feeling "solid but VERY ineffectual right now haha". today I have much more of myself online. it really feels like a strong difference, like a thing that varies. it feels good to ride out the more-offline periods quietly. the returns feel great. (and hey, conservation of discovery, this piece happened today, the new best-so-far representation of what I see.)