clair

you can come up with your own forces, and obviously they have physics

just different conservation laws

but it's still conservation

and everything is forces

context: I'm talking about code. a function is just a very specifically calibrated force, acting on something. in whatever universe the code is supposing, what are the conservation laws?

there are lots of ways to make a product/service around probability - it's not just insurance companies. by equipping the observer to navigate probability responsively, you ... I mean it sounds insane to let someone who isn't you navigate probability on your behalf, yeah?

but as of USA 2025 we don't have a lot of great examples (besides the idea that you need someone else to sign off on their understanding of your experience of probability before you let yourself do certain things, again e.g. insurance companies). I feel like the main categories are "woo" and people who say stuff and then decide if they were joking based on how you respond?

I feel like I have a probability clair. or for the texture of indeterminism, maybe. maybe this is the way I am in the world? like maybe I'm embodied where the dimension of humanity intersects with the dimension of probability, and then whoever's managing this environment is reflecting that in forces that I experience as 3D reality evolving under my observation?

...

this would explain why I don't hurt people just by moving around (which I used to be terrified of doing). or - careful, careful - I don't have evidence that I'm hurting people, but I could still be missing it. ... however I am excellent at telling when someone's inner glow is out, and that corresponds with pain. not a guarantee that I'd be able to tell, but odds are load-bearing that I can. maybe this is why I can't feel other people liking me? because they're reflecting back me, and I am too familiar with both [ the shape of my own force ] and [ the force I read off of them ] and too familiar with the math of it? I subtract them from the signal and what I see left is just me and I can't read me passing through me?

I can't read all forces - and therefore can't read all conservation laws

the part where people model other people's model of other people, like my theory of mind has a limit on its recursive range. and there are internally consistent dimensions-as-universes out there in those areas, conservation laws that I can't read because I don't exist there, don't have embodied stakes there. in this way, I have a lower-dimensional view of reality than most others? ... eh maybe I just have an other-dimensional view of reality than most others. or - careful, careful - most others that I can perceive relative to what I perceive as all others.

before my autism diagnosis, it was like everyone else had phantom limb syndrome, had normalized it, and in that company I was trying not to be an emperor with no clothes