20250830

"I'm gonna love you til the end and then repeat it"

finding logically simple paths that really effectively explain my experience of reality caaaaan be occasionally frightening

it seems like the experience of fear is a signal that one's relationship to the unknown has a twist in it

yearbooks and car insurance, we've kinda rented out our past and futures, and when the math adds up to nothing existing but the now it feels tempting to feel like life is getting extinguished

but... the stories are only ever emergent, yeah? if we rebalance stuff so that the systems all just work, that doesn't kill free will, that lets free will be free as it happens. free will doesn't live in the plans we made five minutes or years ago. present intent isn't back then. intent is always now. if you clean up your past-concept and future-concept perfectly, such that it all fits seamlessly, you're free

and I could see how that prospect would be just absolutely terrifying

this is subtle terrain

I am wanting this bridge to be a simple one